Break Times 2

While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. “Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!”
“Dear God! Did your try to stop him?” 

“No,” said the clerk, “but don’t worry. I got the license plate number!”

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”
“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Bell,” said Mary.

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?"
He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!"

A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, “What are you looking for?" He replied, “The expiration date.”

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Pranky Jokes